A MATTER OF LAUGH OR DEATH
Come to think of it, not much has changed in 40 years
It’s hard to believe it has been 40 years since
Graduation Day, 1976. It’s hard to believe after this many years, we continue
to say, “It’s hard to believe…” What did we think, that we were immune to the
passage of time? That we would remain forever in our 20s? That we were the
first generation in history that would not wake up one day and discover we were
now in our 50s, and our kids are older than we were when we graduated?
Yes, that’s exactly it. We never thought we’d ever get
old. Or, at least, we never thought it would happen so darn quickly. There’s an
old expression: The more things change, the more they stay the same. Well,
there’s another old expression: The more things change, the more they REALLY
change.
Here is a list that demonstrates how much things indeed
have changed during the past 40 years.
Each couplet describes something we were doing back in
1976, followed by what we instead are doing now in 2016.
Sociology exam –
Prostate exam.
Going to sleep at
4 a.m. – Waking up at 4 a.m.
Keg parties –
Tupperware parties.
Long hair – No
hair.
Hot dates – Hot
flashes.
Hours of enjoyment
with a $4 Frisbee – Hours of frustration with a $900 set of golf clubs.
Progressive politics
– Progressive bifocals.
Getting high –
Getting high blood pressure.
Beer kegs that
flowed to the max – Bladders in desperate need of FLOMAX.
Lying to our
parents about what we did in high school – Lying to our children about what we
did in high school.
Starting Saturday
night at 10 p.m. – Concluding Saturday night at 10 p.m.
Poli Sci –
PoliGrip.
Studying ancient
history – Remembering ancient history.
Thinking people in
their 30's were old timers – Thinking people in their 30's are young pups.
Hundreds of vinyl
albums stored in a heavy wooden crate – Hundreds of digital albums stored in a
2-ounce iPod.
Hoping we wouldn’t
have to move back in with our parents – Hoping our kids won’t move back in with
us.
Greek fraternities
– Grecian formula.
Wishing our
parents would leave us alone – Wishing our kids would call once in a while.
Amazed at Bruce
Springsteen’s endurance during a 3-hour concert – Amazed at Bruce Springsteen’s
endurance during a 3-hour concert.
Bushy mustache –
Bushy ear hair.
Deciding where to
live – Deciding where to be buried.
Trying to discover
the meaning of life – Trying to discover the meaning of death.
Focused on finding
happiness – Realizing happiness comes when we stop focusing on it.
Now that the Class
of ‘76 has acquired age and guile, we too understand that the experience gained
during the past four decades far outweighs youth, innocence, and especially
those hideous 1970s-style haircuts.
Which brings us to our final 1976-2016 couplet .
Thinking people in
their 50's were ancient fossils – Knowing people in their 50's are just hitting
their prime.
